One Blessing had I than the rest

One Blessing had I than the rest
So larger to my Eyes
That I stopped gauging – satisfied –
For this enchanted size –

It was the limit of my Dream –
The focus of my Prayer –
A perfect – paralyzing Bliss –
Contented as Despair –

I knew no more of Want – or Cold –
Phantasms both become
For this new Value in the Soul –
Supremest Earthly Sum –

The Heaven below the Heaven above
Obscured with ruddier Blue –
Life’s Latitudes leant over – full –
The Judgment perished – too –

Why Bliss so scantily disburse –
Why Paradise defer –
Why Floods be served to Us – in Bowls
I speculate no more –

        -Fr767, J756, fascicle 34, 1863


In the first stanza of this poem Emily Dickinson says she has had a blessing so enchantingly large that she stopped gauging. To gauge is to measure an amount.

This begs the question, if you stop gauging, will you thus find an enchantingly large blessing? Can you reverse engineer this poem?

Last night on the Golden Globes Demi Moore said, “You will know the value of your worth if you just put down the measuring stick.” This poem resonates with that idea. We see variations of it come up often in Dickinson’s poetry. “'Tis little I could care for pearls who own the ample sea” is one line that comes to mind.

But, in the second stanza, we begin to see a possible downside. The lack of limit may be itself limiting. Notice the change in diction with those words “limit," “paralyzing” and “Despair:”

It was the limit of my Dream –
The focus of my Prayer –
A perfect – paralyzing Bliss –
Contented as Despair –

To reach the very limit of your dream is terrific, but then, I suppose, you must admit a limit. The focus of prayer is limiting in its way too. To focus is to limit your vision. You are left with a perfect bliss, but there is something paralyzing about that perfection. That line “Contented as Despair” is amazing at summing up this paradox.

Bliss can be paralyzing when it’s too perfect, just as despair can be when it’s too deep. If a person is in a state of perfect fulfillment, there’s nothing left to pursue. This may lead to a sense of emptiness. Even bliss, in its extremity, might bring a sense of stagnation. In achieving the ultimate bliss, one feel as though they’ve lost the ability to act. That’s insightful. 

There’s a sense of completeness that, rather than being liberating, could feel suffocating. The contentment is so complete that it resembles despair in its totality. The bliss experienced is absolute and final, and in that sense, it is paralyzing, just like despair. It’s a fascinating way of exploring how extreme positive states can sometimes be as confining as negative ones.

I knew no more of Want – or Cold –
Phantasms both become
For this new Value in the Soul –
Supremest Earthly Sum –

This stanza has now swung back to the positive side of the equation. "Want" and "Cold" have become Phantasms. (“Fictions” is an alternative word that Dickinson provides here, which ties "Want" and "Cold" then to “Reality.”) 

We are in the world of Equations here, with those words, “Value” and “Sum.” I’m always reminded of Sue Gilbert, Emily’s sister-in-law, when Dickinson turns to mathematical terminology, as Sue was a mathematician. It’s possible this poem is about being in love. The idea of a Sum summons this idea. One and one makes two. You can see this idea of one and one making a sum of two played out in the poem Dickinson hand-wrote shortly before this one in fascicle 34, Fr765.

The Heaven below the Heaven above
Obscured with ruddier Blue –
Life’s Latitudes leant over – full –
The Judgment perished – too –

This phrase “Heaven below” also clues us in that we are probably talking about a relationship, as does the adjective “ruddier,” which evokes the blood-red color of a face. The idea of a Blue being ruddier is odd at first. But then you realize that a ruddier blue would be…purple, the color of royalty. An alternative word Dickinson provides in the fascicle for “ruddier” is “comelier” which also points toward the idea of a physical human beauty.

The word "latitudes" is taking us from the idea of math to that of geometry. Latitude lines are those stretching from South to North. With latitude lines "leant over" you get a sense of expansive space, the “full” of space,  latitude lines leaning over forever. It’s a terrific image. Perhaps the latitude lines are leaning over the edge of the flat world, the edge of the map, the edge of what can be "measured." 

Latitude can also mean “scope of freedom.” In the lack of judgement you have an expansion of freedom.

The “Judgment perished” takes us beyond good and evil. Again, the idea of measuring, or judging, is made obsolete by great feeling, Heaven’s Judgment, in particular, is rendered mute by this closer Heaven.

Why Bliss so scantily disburse –
Why Paradise defer –
Why Floods be served to Us – in Bowls
I speculate no more –

Speculation is the forming of a theory or conjecture without firm evidence. It’s a word that attempts to “measure” the future. This poem is looking back, and it understands that this great feeling of absolute fullness cannot be forever, and would even lead to a kind of limiting paralysis if it were. But it also revels in the bowlful of flood that has been served.

    -/)dam Wade l)eGraff

"Floods be served to Us – in Bowls"

note: In the fascicle Dickinson spells "gauging" as "guaging." Perhaps this was on purpose. She sometimes does get creative with spelling, but I would think that in this case it is was an error. Please correct me if I'm wrong. Perhaps not worrying about spelling is a very clever way of "not gauging." Dickinson is usually extremely careful about the smallest detail. An accidental misspelling is rare.